The croc, the flip-flop and the exotic dancer

Phew, you'll be glad to hear we're back in Sydney and in the BLAZING sunshine although I shouldn't say that and jinx us... Currently sitting in christiane's lovely beach residence after an overnight flight from Darwin. We've had showers and done some washing and had cups of tea and EVERYthing, it's so exciting, and this afternoon we are going to the beach. As of today it's our last week in Australia. Where did that go exactly!
When I left you we were about to board the bus from Airlie to Cairns which had previously been doomed to all and sundry, but we had a lucky break in the clouds and made it in one piece. Cairns itself was a bit dull, apart from a nice beachfront pool, but we were only there one day and then we flew to Darwin. Here is everything you will ever need to know about Darwin. 1) It is very hot. 2) It is very wet. 3) It has the highest alcohol consumption per person in the WORLD. 4) It is the gateway to Kakadu, the national park where Crocodile Dundee was filmed. 5) The top tourist attraction in the city itself is when someone from the tourist office goes and throws bread in the harbour and some fish come and eat it.
So guess which one we were there for. Yes that's right, number 3. Hehe, only kidding, of course it was number 4.
So Darwin is not very big, and a bit of a cultural wasteland, but we did find some good graffitti. (Graffitti in australia is often quite classy). We had an infuriating night in the hostel trying to cook some pasta when the gas kept going off, and a loud swedish woman was trying to tell me how to boil water (she nearly ended up wearing it) then the next morning we set off for Kakadu.
The first of the many cool things we saw were these giant cathedral termite mounds. You get the picture of Zoe for that one, I was pulling a hilarious "ant face". We also saw some tombstone termites. Our guide for Kakadu was very clever, he made termites interesting and I would even go so far as to recommend looking them up on wikipedia. they have one queen in each hill. I won't spoilt the rest. On the subject of our guide, he was a regular crocodile dundee outback genius (probably no coincidence). He screeched to a halt, ran over to a tree, and caught us a frill-necked lizard. It soon got its own back. After the lizard excitement we went for a walk. In the wet season Kakadu is mainly grassy floodplains, rocky rainforest and canyony waterfalls. All v cool. I managed to lose a flip flop trying to get a photo from the middle of the river. Luckily I am very nimble and after a bit of flailing around with a stick, I managed to fish it out before it went over this. Look how happy I am. I'd never have found it, and they were a right bargain, $10 in Byron Bay.
Then we got to grips with the wildlife you all go to Kakadu to see. This is me looking nervous around the local Olive Python. And then losing my cool when it went for the nuts. And then we went on a boat where some lunatic dangles meat off it, so you can see the crocodiles. This one was really old and massive. This one was small and graceful.
Somewhere hidden away in the hills was some ancient rock art, loads of it, between 4,000 and 20,000 years old. I won't bore you but here's my favourite, the lightning god. And then we polished off the day with another good outback sunset.
We did loads of walking Kakadu (you have to) so the boots got a good wear. The walks take you to all sorts of isolated and idyllic little ponds and waterfalls, it was amazing. This sign obviously gets ignored by the occasional nutter. Same went for the one that says "jump in at your own risk". Here's another waterfall, Zoe at the bottom of it and some of us swimming somewhere. On the way back we went to a roadhouse where they have the actual buffalo from Crocodile dundee, stuffed.
So that was another trip and another group, and another hunky but somewhat brainless assistant guide. We finished it off in the true Darwin tradition of watching a drunk band, pouring beer up your nose, go-go girls, and drinking rubbish alcopops because you get a scratchcard.
I'll leave you with this sign which made Zoe's day. (That would be Ms Zoe Driver, in case you didn't know).
I'm going to the beach now. (This one)