Blue Mountains Not Blue: Shock Report

The Blue Mountains are not blue, nor are they mountains, I can exclusively reveal. They are in fact a big green valley. A source close to the mountains yesterday claimed, "They sometimes look blue, from a distance". Seeing as this is the case with all mountains, I remain unconvinced. However they are very nice, but in the interests of chronology I'll get on to that later.
We got back to Sydney just over a couple of weeks ago now, and had an amazing few days recuperating and resting back at Christiane's. She made us fabulous healthy food, and we read books, played with Mitsy and went for swims in the local rock pool. One day it got full of bluebottle jellyfish (Portuguese man'o'war) and I got scared and got out, although some people kept swimming. I've heard they give you great scars that look like whip marks but I got out anyway and spent an hour fishing them out with a net and inspecting them, before throwing them in the jellyfish bin. Our most spectacular trip to the rock pool was when a storm came over like a roof. Unfortunately this was the storm that soaked my ipod and it is now dead.
Then we checked into the youth hostel in town, for the weekend, (youth hostels have changed - look at this rooftop pool!), met up with our friend Rory from Fraser Island, did some shopping, and mooched around the city. (Which by this point was infested with gays).
Check out this graffitti - one of my favourite pictures so far this trip.
And then on Saturday it was Mardi Gras. Obviously this was a lot of fun, and the pictures are endless. I will try and be brief.
We started off in the park, where there were some teenagers in funny neon outfits, and then headed up to the parade which was led by the dykes on bikes. (Here's more). Followed by all the obligatory representation from the public services - here's the police, and the army although I sincerely hope that's not the real army. Here's me up a lamppost watching the parade (yes that's another home haircut). This is Zoe and Christiane pretending to be lesbians, quite convincing I thought. We also made some friends; Here's Christiane with a gladiator, and this is me with little red riding hood. Other highlights included the big head-dresses, dancing letters, a man dressed up as kylie (obviously), and Lisa this is specially for you, a "bear" dressed up as an angel. There's a lot more I could bore you with, but I won't. I personally never get bored of glittery sponge lettering. And here's a good example of how my stupid new camera always focuses on the wrong thing. I vaguely remember later on making friends with a nice man from the navy, with a pirate-ship tattoo. I forget his name, but that's his fault for buying me four whisky and cokes.
We flung away our hangovers in true city-Sunday style by going for a massive breakfast, walk (over the bridge to the North shore) where we went to the fair. I went on a pirate ship, in honour of the man whose name I have forgotten. After being scared "wit"less in the "prison Break Live" thing (never go in one - it involves a chicken wire maze with strobe lighting, and out of work actors covered in blood flinging themselves at you in the dark, it was horrible. Zoe will want me to point out she wasn't scared, but I was) we found our better selves in the hall of mirrors, and played on the slides.
And then we had our last day in Australia, at the "Blue Mountains" (see above). They were cool, comprising Australia's highest waterfall folks, an intrepid 3 hour hike through the jungle (see I told you they're not mountains), a ride on a brass horse, a very steep funicular railway, a cable car past the three sisters and some aboriginal dancing.
And that, guys, was our last day in Australia. *weep*. We are missing lots of things, but one thing we are NOT missing is Christiane's jam, because she gave us some to take with us and we had to cleverly smuggle it through customs. This was our last view of Sydney, from the airport.

And now we're in New Zealand! It's verrrry beautiful, and unlike Australia the weather is beautiful too *touch wood*.
Due to budgetry restraints we've hired a "wicked camper" in Christchurch, which are cheap rubbish camper vans for students and poor people. They are only about ten quid a day though - and we need it for five weeks. The downside is that they all have some crazy art on them. And you don't get to choose. We missed out on all the cool ones (We've seen The Doors, Kiss, Elvis, etc) and have ended up with a jaded political message about George Bush. It could have been worse. Look at this one we were parked next to. What were they thinking??
So after some teething problems (the radiator pipe blew off and sprayed water and oil all through the gear box and onto my jeans) the van is fully up and running. It has been amazing so far. Very different to Oz. I'm wondering how to make it blog-worthy seeing as everywhere is very deserted, and there is nothing much to do except drive places and look at the scenery, which is great for us, but boring for you. You'll like this though, we went on a boat from yet another crowded beach, and saw our first ever whale. In fact we saw three, and some dolphins, which was amazing.
So, thanks to some careful planning over sandwiches in the van, we are well underway in New Zealand. We have also been to Akoroa bay, which has a really cute town, and one of our favourite things, a crap museum. And yesterday when it was windy we did some crazy golf. Check out the Downtown hole, the rollercoaster (your ball actually goes on the rollercoaster) and the castle with the snapping portcullis. All pure genius.
The nicest thing about NZ is the familiar wildlife. I saw some bumble bees yesterday, and a couple of days ago a hedgehog tried to lick our washing up clean. I am rambling a bit, and running out of money on the meter, so I had better go. Today's picture to finish is this one of Zoe demonstrating how windy it can get here.
Oh, and what do you call a lesbian off-license? Yup.
See you all soon!
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